Thursday, March 31, 2005

Pot, meet Kettle

Like so many others, I have been thoroughly enjoying the descent of one Ms. Britney Spears into the pits of white trashdom (and, let's face it, skankdom).

In a letter posted yesterday on her Web site, Brit responded thusly to the beating up she's been getting in the tabs:

"Dear False Tabloids,
As you read this letter, I bet you are asking yourself: Who? Who, me? Am I a false tabloid? ... I'm really concerned about the people you hire to work at your companies. I'd like them to ask themselves the question, "What am I lying to myself about?" Is it that you are 50 pounds overweight? Is it that your children aren't making wise decisions? Or is it maybe that your husband or boyfriend is cheating on you? Until you face what is going on in your life, I guess you'll remain a false tabloid."

"False Tabloids"? Isn't that an oxymoron, kind of like "military intelligence"? Oh, Brit...Brit. I don't deny that many celebrities are stalked by tabloid media, but when you go out in public looking like a crack 'ho, and do interviews with mainstream magazines in which you complain about having to tell your maid to buy diapers and your pool boy to walk your sorry excuse for a dog...well, Brit, let me tell you a little secret: You're kind of asking for it.

Few people can avert their eyes from a train wreck, and missy, that's you to a tee. I just hope your little sister looks at you as an example of what NOT to do. She's young. It's not too late for her.

Just in case you think I'm not being fair to Mrs. Kevin Federline, I invite you to check out the photographic evidence that she is in no position to be accusing anyone of anything. The woman (I'm sorry...child) can't even dress herself.

[I enjoy that she's calls the letter portion of her Web site "Stream of Conciousness." I think the conciousness part is a bit ambitious on her part, frankly.]

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