Wednesday, July 13, 2005


A message to all you miscreants who continue to pollute my beloved P-Patch (that's a community garden to you non-Seattlites) with your presence:

P-Patches were not created to give you a place to smoke crack, litter, vandalize (that rock wall was there for a reason, thank you very much), urinate, drink cheap beer and sleep (or pass out, as the case may be).

They were also not created to give you a place to pick produce. I grew that artichoke you stole, and I had intended to eat it! And my plot neighbor? The one who you stole every single pea from? She grew those, and she had intended to pick and eat them!

I just know you're eyeing my big, lush, dark green tomato plants and already anticipating the day when you will steal my tomatoes. I swear to whatever you might hold holy (even if it's only your damn crack pipe): You touch my tomatoes, and I will put a hex on you, so help me...

Frankly, I'm getting a little tired of having to call 911 every other time I go down to do a little gardening. I pay an annual fee to garden there. I deserve to garden in relative peace. I deserve to be able to harvest the fruits of my labor. That is the bottom line.

But I will continue to call the police, and e-mail the police, and start bugging the damn city council if I have to. Because you are pond scum. And you will not win.

Do you think I sound angry? You bet your ass I am. Hell hath no fury like a gardener whose garden is tampered with.

So just stop it.

Stop it.

Stop it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm done...for now.


Charlene said...

Hi Kate (Moody Babe),
Hope your garden is not still being trampled! I am a pastry cook wannabe, completed a professional baking and pastry program. (Does your future cafe need a baker/pastry cook?)
I enjoy reading your blog, just found it the other day. I'm new to Seattle & found your site from SeattleBonvivant (love that blog). Hey you have good taste in music too!

Kate said...

Hi Charlene,

Thanks for the compliments! I too love Seattle Bon Vivant (I've discovered some great restaurants because of her).

My future cafe is very future (once I graduate from school, I will probably suck it up and take a pay cut to work at a bakery first for "real world" experience). Once I have my own place, I plan to be the primary baker, and as to how many other bakers I will be able to hire...who knows?

The tomatoes in my garden plot are fingers are crossed that I get to actually get some for myself!

Oh, welcome to Seattle. It's a great place to live!

Kate (MB)