A message to all you miscreants who continue to pollute my beloved P-Patch (that's a community garden to you non-Seattlites) with your presence:
P-Patches were not created to give you a place to smoke crack, litter, vandalize (that rock wall was there for a reason, thank you very much), urinate, drink cheap beer and sleep (or pass out, as the case may be).
They were also not created to give you a place to pick produce. I grew that artichoke you stole, and I had intended to eat it! And my plot neighbor? The one who you stole every single pea from? She grew those, and she had intended to pick and eat them!
I just know you're eyeing my big, lush, dark green tomato plants and already anticipating the day when you will steal my tomatoes. I swear to whatever you might hold holy (even if it's only your damn crack pipe): You touch my tomatoes, and I will put a hex on you, so help me...
Frankly, I'm getting a little tired of having to call 911 every other time I go down to do a little gardening. I pay an annual fee to garden there. I deserve to garden in relative peace. I deserve to be able to harvest the fruits of my labor. That is the bottom line.
But I will continue to call the police, and e-mail the police, and start bugging the damn city council if I have to. Because you are pond scum. And you will not win.
Do you think I sound angry? You bet your ass I am. Hell hath no fury like a gardener whose garden is tampered with.
So just stop it.
I'm done...for now.