Wednesday, July 13, 2005

#%^&$(*&@?}!!!

A message to all you miscreants who continue to pollute my beloved P-Patch (that's a community garden to you non-Seattlites) with your presence:

P-Patches were not created to give you a place to smoke crack, litter, vandalize (that rock wall was there for a reason, thank you very much), urinate, drink cheap beer and sleep (or pass out, as the case may be).

They were also not created to give you a place to pick produce. I grew that artichoke you stole, and I had intended to eat it! And my plot neighbor? The one who you stole every single pea from? She grew those, and she had intended to pick and eat them!

I just know you're eyeing my big, lush, dark green tomato plants and already anticipating the day when you will steal my tomatoes. I swear to whatever you might hold holy (even if it's only your damn crack pipe): You touch my tomatoes, and I will put a hex on you, so help me...

Frankly, I'm getting a little tired of having to call 911 every other time I go down to do a little gardening. I pay an annual fee to garden there. I deserve to garden in relative peace. I deserve to be able to harvest the fruits of my labor. That is the bottom line.

But I will continue to call the police, and e-mail the police, and start bugging the damn city council if I have to. Because you are pond scum. And you will not win.

Do you think I sound angry? You bet your ass I am. Hell hath no fury like a gardener whose garden is tampered with.

So just stop it.

Stop it.

Stop it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm done...for now.

2 comments:

Charlene said...

Hi Kate (Moody Babe),
Hope your garden is not still being trampled! I am a pastry cook wannabe, completed a professional baking and pastry program. (Does your future cafe need a baker/pastry cook?)
I enjoy reading your blog, just found it the other day. I'm new to Seattle & found your site from SeattleBonvivant (love that blog). Hey you have good taste in music too!
Charlene
cfelo@sbcglobal.net

Kate said...

Hi Charlene,

Thanks for the compliments! I too love Seattle Bon Vivant (I've discovered some great restaurants because of her).

My future cafe is very future (once I graduate from school, I will probably suck it up and take a pay cut to work at a bakery first for "real world" experience). Once I have my own place, I plan to be the primary baker, and as to how many other bakers I will be able to hire...who knows?

The tomatoes in my garden plot are multiplying...my fingers are crossed that I get to actually get some for myself!

Oh, welcome to Seattle. It's a great place to live!

Kate (MB)